GRAVETTE — Many a day I wish I was rich and right instead of so handsome. Today is just such a day. I started out right, had ham and eggs, biscuits with gravy slathered on them and a good half gallon of hot coffee. My close relative is real good at cooking, if I haven’t mentioned that before. I put on clean britches, clean shirt and fresh stockings, had a clean shave and figured I was ready for a day of doing good.
Fell apart in about 30 seconds, soon as I hit the door. I could see the water seeping downthedrivewaytowardthe county road at a pretty good clip. I turned around, faced the back door and prayed for a minute.When I turned back around, the small river was still there. I stepped back in and traded leather boots for rubber boots.
Yep, a small river, too big to be a creek and not Mississippi size yet, was running out of the barn door. I am speaking of the big barn, where we work cattle, where we have a faucet that is about as old as the barn. The one we never have thought it would be necessary to replace with a frost free one. Think again, poor old boy who is not real excited about digging up a tone of mud and freezing off his hands and other parts.
She, that close relative, had been checking on all the stuff she requires winterized before the first frost and reminded me to put heat tape back on that dang faucet. I would have probably found a leak if I’d listened. No, it hadn’t frozen, it just woreplumb out and started as a tiny pine hole and progressed onward. But you and I both know she is gonna give m e that raised brow and silent told you so she is so skilled at! I dread that almost as muchas the mud!
I turned off the water, dug the thing out and went to the store to get parts. It cost me a small fortune to replace the old thing with all the correct fittings and a new faucet and it should last longer than I will need it. The male offsprings showed up about the time I finished and stood around watching me fill in the hole. They wondered what was for dinner.
I reminded them we could not wonder about that until noon time, you know 12 noon, and sent them to check the electric fence around the woods while I cleaned up.Rested up was what I was gonna be, I hoped! I peeled off clothes and stuffed them in the washer and hit the shower. Man, that hot water was good!
I could hear voices when I stepped out of the shower and was getting dressed. I knew it was the offspring and I didn’t think anything about it. But it is my opinion, and everyone has one, once a day gets rooted in disaster it usually goes on full tilt! The water tank in the yearling pasture was dry, the electric fence was not to be found and neither were the cattle. I suspected they were in the woods trying to fill their bellies with acorns and looking for a place to die!
I sat down and thought it through, sticking my clean dry socks into my warm house slippers. I leaned back into the easy chair and cleared my throat. I calmly detailed what had to bedone to the completely capable, grown, hungry menchildren. I then sent them to take care of the mess. I am so wise it almost scares me sometimes. Now you know the rest of the story!
News, Pages 7 on 11/25/2009