You picked a fine time to leave me, Lucille, tax papers spread all over the dash of the truck, kitchen table and cookstove! I guess I can call her Lucille if I want to. My close relative hates for me to use that name to get her attention but it sure works. And, yes, she did leave me, she went to take the Grands to a ballgame and won’t be home till it is all said and done.

I had orders to arrange all my stuff, tickets, bills and anything pertaining to taxes, in neat piles for her to get in the book. Of course piles I make are not ever gonna be definitive. Do I need oil separate from gas and how about the diesel and oil, are they separate? The tractor and the hay truck both use diesel and yet for different things so do I need to separate them?

I fingered the papers, pulling ones out from behind others. What difference does it make to Uncle Sam how I spend my cash anyway? I won’t get a break on any of it, never have had a refund and now that we gave all we had to GM I know I won’t ever see such a thing. Sure enough will have to pay in, may have to borrow it, but I will have to send the government some money.

Then the thought occurred to me, does the bank still loan money to pay taxes? What if I need to borrow for that particular reason and they won’t loan for said reason? I hoped I wouldn’t have to turn to a life of crime. But it I was incarcerated would the government take care of my close relative and tend to her medical bills and groceries?

I shuffled the papers and dust sorta settled out of the pile. I got a cup of fresh coffee and started all over. The first heap was gonna be for petroleum products, the second for cattle feed and so on I put vet services and medicine next and things started to come together. But it was tough, sorting through a year’s worth of my life. Dust just kept on gathering in little clouds, like parts of me floating away.

I got the stack off the stove, soaked the coffee out of one of them and hoped we were never audited. How could I explain to a city dude the need for hog rings if I didn’t raise any hogs? But you fellers know, those come in handy for lots of stuff. And all that money spent on fence repairs? Well, let us pray we won’t have to do any explaining to anyone!

It is my opinion, and everyone has one, to pay taxes is o.k. when we need the Army, Navy, Marines and Air Force. I like the police station and fire station to be manned and ready and, yes, the highways should be reasonably smooth. Not one person I know can explain any of the IRS laws, we must not question why, just do or die! I made my stacks, did my duty and left the house. I saddled old Snip and rode off into the sunset. I hoped ole’ Lucille would be satisfied and then again I guess I didn’t really care! I heal quickly!

-Bill

Bill is a pen name used by the Gravette author of this weekly column.

Opinion, Pages 4 on 04/14/2010