I'm back at work and recuperating

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

I don’t usually think of coming to work as a place to relax and catch my breath, but after last weekend I was feeling a bit that way on Monday morning. What a weekend!

Usually my weekends are rather uneventful. I go to a few garage sales with Mrs. Griz and then sit down at the computer to write articles for the newspaper and prepare the church bulletin. Last weekend, however, was far from the usual.

I started out trying to capture a few photos on the wild side. I was walking through a grove of trees on a hot and steamy Friday afternoon when I spotted a Bengal tiger in a pool of water — trying to keep cool, I expect. Not wanting to miss such a photo opportunity, I crouched down to take a photo or two without alerting the cat. But before I knew it, the tiger pounced and was on me. His big paws caught me on the thighs.

Fortunately for me, the big cat wasn’t so big yet. He only left two big wet paw prints on my jeans. He was one of two tiger cubs in the petting zoo at the Wild Wilderness Safari, and my attempt to capture a photo of the cat sleeping in a plastic swimming pool while my grandkids played with another revealed my inability to sneak up on the little cat with big, big paws.

If the excitement of being attacked by a Bengal tiger wasn’t enough, we — my daughter, son-in-law and their three children — also spent Saturday on the Illinois River — or perhaps I should say, in the Illinois River. With a canoe and two kayaks, we set out for a short float trip.

Being the only experienced oarsman, I started out in the stern of a canoe with my daughter in the front and her two youngest between us. My son-in-law and his oldest started in the kayaks. We got off okay and traveled less than 100 yards downstream before the little ones decided it was time to stop and go swimming. Though I hadn’t dressed for a swim, the water was great and the sheltered spot on the river gave the little ones time to try out their skills in the kayaks without getting away from us and heading down the river.

After a swimming stop or two, it was my turn to kayak for a while. I don’t believe the small vessels were made for old and overweight guys like me who have trouble sitting with their legs and feet extended straight ahead in the tiny forward space of the little craft. I liked the ease of maneuvering across the water in the tiny craft, but sitting in a kayak was, for me, a bit less than comfortable. If I use one again, I’ll either have to start touching my toes a week or two ahead of time or lose that 50 pounds I keep trying to shed.

If sitting in a kayak was a challenge for this old fat man, getting out was even harder. I’m not sure how it was I managed to get both my legs in the forward part of the tiny vessel and get plopped down in the driver’s seat, but getting my legs out was even harder. On my first attempt, I gave my daughter the memorable experience of seeing her dad dumped over and lying on his side in the shallow water while trying to get his feet out of the vessel’s hold. On the second exodus, I managed to escape without a spill, but I’ve determined dumping over may have been easier even though it was then necessary to lift up the kayak and drain out all the water.

I’m thinking I need to redesign a kayak for fat guys like me with more leg room so I can sit cross-legged and then get my feet out and on the ground before leaving my seat. Perhaps, with such a design, I could just put my feet down in shallow water, stand up and let the kayak glide out from under me.

Perhaps I could modify a big surf board and remove the bottom fin so as not to get hung up in the shallows. Then I could just let my feet hang down in the water in the deeper portions of the river and sit cross-legged when the water is shallow. Why, if I didn’t dump over, I could lie down and take a nap while floating along. It might even make it easier to get under a few of those low-hanging tree branches that tried to dislodge me from my vessel along the way.

Even though I am more experienced and a lot more comfortable in a canoe, I will have to admit a spill upon exiting at the end of the day. I stepped out with one foot and the canoe left with my other foot still stuck on board. I needed to cool off anyway.

A Sunday afternoon hike with a granddaughter on my shoulders, and attempting to barbecue hamburgers and hot dogs in a cloudburst kind of finished off my weekend, leaving me exhausted and sore in a quite few places.

I can’t say I didn’t enjoy the experiences because I did, but they did wear me out and make it abundantly clear that I’m not 20 any more and some of my parts just don’t work like they used to work when I was.

Anyway, my children and grandchildren have returned home and I’ve returned to work to recuperate.

But I better do it fast because another grandson is coming to visit soon. When he hears of all the fun I had last weekend, I’m just sure I’ll have to have to do it all over again.

Randy Moll is the managing editor of the Westside Eagle Observer. He may be reached by e-mail at rmoll @ nwaonline .com.