It hit me on the noggin the other day. “It” was one of those pesky sweet gum seed balls that litter the ground after the tree drops its leaves each autumn.
Every year the shade from the huge tree in the back yard provides relief from the boiling sun rays. And every autumn those dadgum balls make a person pay the price for having enjoyed the shade.
Some years are worse than others. I hadn’t paid attention to the crop of green balls hiding among the leaves. But, curses and drats, they were there, and now that the leaves are gone, there is no doubt this is a “worse” year.
A couple of years ago, I asked for someone to help me dispose of the prickly little buggers. I filled several large trash bags withthe balls to give to a lucky taker. I waited ... and waited ... and waited!
This year the crop really is plentiful. Worse. If there is not a pickup load of the burrs littering the ground, it’s more like two or three. Or enough to fill a county road department dump truck.
There has to be a use for the little devils.
Rather than getting out the rake and going to work, I did the improbable. On went the thinking cap. Don’t laugh. That’s a joke.
The wheels turned and it was several nights later when the brilliant idea crashed into my skull like one giant sweet gum ball.
Would sweet gum balls make excellent fuel for a pellet stove? $$$$$$s danced in the old noggin with contemplation of the hundreds that could be made off the harvest from a single tree.
Reality finally hit. Will those hard, crusty, prickly balls work in a pellet stove? I have no idea how that system works. But there must be lots of dollars to be made if a stove can be designed to turn those hard little balls into heat and ash. We (note the “we”) could call them “Balls of Fire Fuel.”
We can form a company and get a patent on the process.
I’m working on a stock option plan, whatever that is, and will welcome your participation and pocket change to become a part of this sure-fire project. Are you with me?
Let me convince you to get on board. The sweet gum fuel supply is unlimited. Just plant rows and rows of trees and wait. Or we can import balls from Alabama or Georgia where, I’ve been told, sweet gum trees are as common as kudzu. Eureka! We can expand into marketing kudzu after we figure out a good use for that stuff.
Maybe our entire operation can be consolidated into a sweet kudzu gumball racket - make that a product. Are you still with me?
This is exciting. I’m already on the trail of another idea - make that a money-making scheme - for our company’s next project. Please note I said OUR company. Do you suppose marketing garden slugs has a future?
Anyway, you can cash in on your investment now by coming by and picking up a bag of balls.
Where’s that rake?
Dodie Evans is the editor emeritus of the Westside Eagle Observer. He may be reached by e-mail at devans @ nwaonline .com.
Opinion, Pages 6 on 12/15/2010