OPINION? Everybody Has One!!

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

The air is so heavy with moisture that the wind is having a hard time moving any of it. I believe if my hands were just big enough I could wring out two or three inches of rain over the place any time. I do not understand folks who like to live in the southern swamps. I just could not stand it. My skin would simply soak up wet until I’d look like the Goodyear Blimp!

I decided the only way to get real cool was to load up in my close relative’s automobile and take a road trip. We could travel around and see some sights, eat in a few steak houses and enjoy ourselves for a few days. I talked about it for a couple of days and she, my close relative, mentioned she would like to take a little road trip. Imagine that, all her idea. I grumbled about the cost of such nonsense and the work I need to do, but yes, just for her, we could go.

We loaded up and left early in the day and motoring along at the speed limit was wonderful. My coffee cup stayed full thanks to the thermos my close relative brought along and everything was so pleasant. We made it a couple hundred miles down the road when my belly started growling and I suggested we stop for lunch.

I was straining my eyes for a steak joint when I was informed that the next roadside park would do nicely for our lunch. What?

Did I understand her to mean I was gonna have to sit down at a cement table sticky with watermelon juice from other travelers and shoo flies away from a bologna sandwich in 100° temperature? Was I just imagining this or had a dark cloud appeared on horizon?

Right, the cloud appeared but I acted like I enjoyed the meal. We used the little towelettes she provided to wipe the bologna grease off our hands and started on down the road. It took a good hour for my body temperature to return to just above normal. She spread a little flannel throw over her legs! Thought I was smart, thought I would enjoy myself, never entered my mind that I ‘d be asked so sweetly to turn the A/C off because the passenger side was so cold.

We pulled in to a motel, the one that leaves the light on for you, about dark. I took a walk, made a call back home and told the offspring we would be back the following day. I would enjoy working on the pipe fence, would even do some of the welding. They could both take a day off and I’d be glad to let them go. I just needed to come home!

It is my opinion, and everyone has one, I can eat better than round steak sandwiches at my own table without the flies and sticky cement and save that $3 a gallon gas. I couldn’t even get a steak on the road because my close relative wanted to try the coffee at the golden arches and just guess where I had breakfast! I ate a McMuffin and was tickled to death to be on the road home!

I sure outfoxed myself, but the next trip is gonna be mine and well understood before the wheels roll! Course, I don’t know when that will occur and I have to grow enough backbone to make all the good stuff happen, so it could be awhile.

-Bill

Bill is a pen name used by the Gravette author of this weekly column.

Opinion, Pages 4 on 07/21/2010