GENTRY — We have some big plans for the coming weekend!

On Saturday evening, our family will grow to include a beautiful daughter-in-law. That’s right; Zack, our 28-yearold son, is finally taking the plunge!

We have known Lynz for a year and a half and already consider her part of the family. But, I am really looking forward to the ceremony that will make her an official member of our clan. This young lady is a realsweetheart with a warm personality and youthful laughter. I have no doubt she will be a very nice addition to our family. What I am a little uncertain of, however, is how to manage this new role into which I will be stepping.

Since our two daughters, Andrea and Megan, have already married, I have experienced sonsin-law. But now, having a daughter-in-law will be a brand new venture for me. My hope is that I will always be more to Lynz than “Zack’s Mom,”“Mrs. Rowe,” or just her “mother-in-law.” More than anything, I hope she will regard me as a friend.

With the pending wedding, I have found myself analyzing the general conception that mothers have a hard time “giving up” their sons to another woman. It is possible that we moms sometimes have trouble acknowledging that another woman can take just as good of care of our boys as we did. After all, heart strings between a mother and her son can be tied pretty tight.

But in this case, I truthfully welcome the opportunity to turn over the reigns. In fact, with Zack being the adventurous spirit that he is - and has been most of his life - Icould use a rest already! To know that someone else who genuinely loves and cares for him is keeping track of where he is and what he’s up to relieves me of a duty that has over the years added a few wrinkles and a gray hair here and there.

I know that continuing to build a strong bond with Lynz will mean navigating the sometimes tricky world of motherin-law / daughter-inlaw relationships. Quite naturally - at least for my pondering personality - I have spent some time contemplating exactly what my new role might look like.

Let’s see … I want to be available when I am needed but never get in the way. I want to be a sounding board whenasked, yet know when to keep my opinions to myself. I want to be supportive and nurturing, yet never smothering. And as they face challenges ahead, as all couples do, I hope to find that delicate balance between “concern” and “meddling?”

With my own daughters and their marriages, decoding all this hasn’t been so hard - although my sons-in-law might argue. When you have raised girls from babies into womanhood, you know them very well. So much is understood without saying a thing. I can usually read the body language when I step in where I am not invited. And, if I that doesn’t work and I need a more direct hint, my girls will just tell me in so many words,“Back off, Mom,” and I am glad they do. My intentions are good, really.

Since I don’t have all these pre-developed advantages with Lynz, I expect to have to put a little more effort into my new role. But, I am determined to do what I can to make it happen.

I will keep my ears and eyes wide open for hints. And, if I pull this off, I will not only gain a lovely daughter-in-law that puts a smile on my son’s face; I will also have a sweet friend.

Annette Rowe is a freelance writer and a speech-language pathologist at Siloam Springs High School. She may be reached by e-mail at awalkinthepark50 @ yahoo.com.

Opinion, Pages 5 on 06/02/2010