GRAVETTE — I cannot stand a man who would gripe because he loaned tools to a neighbor and the tools have not been returned! That is a small man, the feller who would gripe about a few tools. You know the neighbor is worth a whole bunch more than the tools! What does a hand saw, a set of ratchets and an air tank cost, anyway? You just know the neighbor is priceless and the tools can be replaced.
Mrs. Jones (names have been changed to protect the innocent, me) called and visited with my close relative. They talked about the weather, the grandchildren, gardens and how much groceries cost. Finally, after all the nice and sugary talk, the few tools I borrowed a couple years ago came up.
“Do you suppose you could get Bill to returned the air tank? Mr. Jonesneeds it bad and looked all over for it before remembering that Bill borrowed it a long time ago.”
Well, that kind of talk is pure poison for some of us fellers with such good intentions. A stirred up wasper nest is not as dangerous as a close relative with blood in her eye. Mrs. Jones is one of the members of the Ladies Benevolent Society, the president in fact. Mr. Jones is a deacon of the church on the east side of town and they have enough money to pay off all my debts and still not feel a squeeze.
My close relative and Mrs. Jones have been friends a long time, done a lot of community work together, fixed and re-fixed many problems and prevented some marital murders. They have been room mothers together,stayed until the last dog died at many a school activity as sponsors and have great respect for one another.
Me?Well, I might be lower than a snake’s belly right now in the eyes that have been known to sorta like me. She has shook her head and muttered under her breath, spun around on one heel and slammed the door behind her after delivering the undeserved lecture to me, a man with so many irons in the fire just to keep her happy and able to write a check for groceries.
It took me awhile to remember where I had hung the hand saw. I sat down on the little stool in the shop and thought about the day I borrowed it.The female offspring was still in high school and, come to think of it, that was a long time ago. I ran the saw job through my head and finally thought of where it might be. Sure enough it washanging right where it belonged, at my place anyway!
It is my opinion, and everyone has one, the best thing to do when returning borrowed-too-long tools is to return some new ones instead. I made a trip to the hardware store on the way to Mr. Jones’ place and purchased a new saw, new ratchets and new parts for the air tank.
Yes, he was plumb glad to see me and even happier to see his air tank. WE shook hands. I helped him pull two flat as a flitter tires off a truck and hauled him to town to get them fixed. All’s well that ends well. Except I have to go back home sometime. Sure hope supper is not crow or possum tonight!
-Bill
Bill is a pen named used by the Gravette author of
Opinion, Pages 4 on 05/05/2010