GRIZ BEAR COMMENTS Concerns over nose hairs and snoring

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

— It often happens that little things about us, as well as some little things we say or do, make impressions upon our children and grandchildren. While I don’t claim to know what things about me my grandchildren will remember, I was a bit surprised at a couple of things which apparently impressed - or maybe concerned - a grandson of mine when we spent time together last month.

Apparently, I had not trimmed those nose hairs which have become more of a nuisance as I’ve grown older. My fifth-grade grandson never made mention of my nose hairs, but he came up with an unexpected question which undoubtedly concerned him as he nears puberty. He wanted to know how much it hurt to pluck them out.

What was I to say? I could have said, “Yes, it does hurt to pull them. It kind of sends a sharp pain up your nose and straight into the brain where those hairs must have roots.”

Instead, I just told him it hurts a little. I didn’t want him to fear one of the least significant parts of growing older. I didn’t mention that it hurts to pluck hair out of my ears, too. I figure he’ll find that out for himself one day.

And no, I didn’t even mention that benefit of having nose hairs when you’re driving and tired late at night. If you want to wake up, pluck a nose hair. That’ll do it - at least for a few minutes until a fellow might have to pluck another to stay awake.

I did decide a nose trim might be in order, and maybe an ear trim too, to avoid causing such concerns to young children.

Another young concern must involve snoring. I’ve never heard myself snore but Mrs. Griz and my children have told me that I do. Apparently, I have been sawing on this giant oak tree for some time now and never have quite managed to get the tree felled or cut up into finished timbers.

Well, I was awakened from a brief nap by that same grandson. He was making some muffled snorting sounds and apparently trying to figure out how it was that I was making so much noise in my sleep. When he realized I was awake, he stopped, too. He never said a word about it - not even a question.

When I told Mrs. Griz, she just chuckled. But I’m concerned those few insignificant things could have traumatized my grandson. He just might have nightmares about growing old and snoring and having nose hairs to pluck.

How can I prevent causing such fears and concerns? I suppose I can go to greater lengths to keep those wild hairs trimmed, but how do I stop myself from snoring? I don’t even know when I do it and no remedy Mrs. Griz has had me try helps much.

I could put a piece of duct tape over my mouth when I lay back in my easy chair and there are tender minds in the room. But how do I explain the tape? I suppose I could say I tape my mouth shut to make sure my teeth don’t fall out. I’d be joking, of course, but that might not allay young fears about growing older.

Randy Moll is the managing editor of the Westside Eagle Observer. He may be reached by e-mail at [email protected].

Opinion, Pages 6 on 03/09/2011