LITTLE ROCK — My close relative is in the flower business. We have flower beds in every square inch of the yard that will afford a blossom, and then she planted out by my barn water faucet. I guess she didn’t want to waste one drop of precious water, so the spearmint smell is strong there.
I am not complaining about the lovelyflowers or the space to grow them. I like for the headquarters place to look good and it does. The grass gets water and fertilizer, carpets the ground and is pretty. The pastures are burned to a shade of dark brown, but the yard looks great. My close relative spends about eight hours a day fooling with the yard, flowers mostly. She picksoff the dead ones - dead heading is what she calls it. She pulls up any little sprig of grass that dares to grow in her flowers, and she has killed about ten thousand grasshoppers.
The Grands come to spend time here and they lay around in the lush grass, reading books and drinking lemonade. They run through the sprinkler, giggle and act like they are on a big vacation. Cookies are delivered by the bushel basket and, so, all are deliriously happy.
Ask me how much lemonade and how many cookies I have been offered. Of course, I am not of the same ilk andI reckon it is OK to be as untreated as I am now.
My only concern is that I will have to hire out in order to make enough to pay for a new lawn mower and pay off the bill at the feed store for fertilizer. How do I make peace over the fact that we have pumped enough water to fill a lake and spread fertilizer for three months to get to mow it down almost every other day? Sure makes sense to part of this family!
My female offspring is almost a carbon copy of her Mammy. She works in the yard and has done a super job of planting and growing flowers. Her grassis thick and green, and a new John Deere lawn mower - you know it was cheap - is sitting in the corner ready to mow at a moment’s notice.
Being the wonderful and thoughtful grandfather that I am, I considered buying one of those above ground swimming pools for our place. We might have enjoyed a dip in the evenings and I know it would be nice to cool off on miserably hot afternoons. I had to ditch that thought after I saw the extreme extent of energy expended to cover every inch of sod with grass. Just got no place for a pool! Didn’t mention itto my close relative and actually figure I came out about even money wise!
It is my opinion, and everyone has one, a pretty yard is sure nice and the entire family enjoys ours and also the female offspring’s endeavors. We like to have homemade ice cream on the lawn in the shade, and the Grands do love it!
My only point of concern is this: If my close relative would spend more time with flour and less with flowers, I would be a lot happier!
Bill is a pen name used by the Gravette author of this weekly column.
News, Pages 6 on 08/01/2012