OFF THE CUFF: Resolutions are for the birds; predictions, well ....

I’ve thought about it for several days now and I’ve about come to a conclusion. I’d better explain.

As the new year approaches, our thoughts turn to a couple of annual requirements: Making resolutions, and predictions.

Long-time readers familiar with the ‘Cuff can remember some of those outstanding enlightenedprognostications that have appeared here down through the years. One I remember, that stirred up some coffee shop talk, was about a wart transplant to happen at the Gravette hospital. Another was the meteor that was to bounce off the head of a Maysville man. And, of course, there was the annual prediction that postal rates would rise.I won’t bore you with more.

Another annual topic that I often visited with readers about was resolutions. I never admitted to things I resolved to do except once I vowed to lose five pounds. That was multi-decades ago when I managed to hit the 130 mark.

I shake my head now at the thought as I poke another hole in the belt. Those were the days, weren’t they?

I’ll have to admit I sometimes make resolutions, and they’re not limited to January. And none involve the weight factor. But, like what probably happens to those who resolve this or that, thegood intentions usually fall by the wayside - thump - before Epiphany.

Maybe you are more successful than I at having the intestinal fortitude to stick with a regimen and follow it to a successful conclusion. You are? Would you please write a book so that I can buy one?

Anyway, back to the opening paragraph of this epic literary saga. I have come to a conclusion that “resolutions are for the birds.”

In fact migratory birds must have originated the resolution concept that has oozed over into humans. Let me explain.

It, the resolution concept, surely begins in the nest and by the time the fledgling, fragile little bird hatches it must be filled with the inner concept that “When I grow up, I resolve to migrate to warmer climes.” The opposite must hold true for those which jump boundaries and head north to escape sizzling summers. So that is my conclusion: Resolutions are for the birds. And I’m going to stick with that this year.

Predictions are another matter and I’m tempted to go into a trance and shower you with all kinds of knowledgeable facts about the future. But I’m not going todo that. I will, however, take one simple gaze toward the coming of 2014: In spite of the mess we’re in today, there won’t be a whole lot of improvement 12 months from now.

I sincerely hope I’m wrong and that your, and my, upcoming year will be full of positives, good health, wealth and lots of smiles. Happy New Year!

P.S. And remember, the price of stamps goes up January first.

Dodie Evans is the editor emeritus of the Westside Eagle Observer and may be contacted by email at [email protected].

Opinion, Pages 6 on 12/26/2012