Column fodder?

If you were going to write a column for the first of the year, what would you write about?

Resolutions? Yep, that’s a good timely topic. One that everyone can relate to. One that is sure to evoke some pondering. Maybe even some controversy. After all, you’ll want your column to sound original, so you’d try to come up with some unusual, or maybe even weird resolutions.

I won’t get into that.

Another topic is an-endof-the-year assessment of where you are. Maybe that should be tackled first. After all, if you’re honest with yourself, then that lays the groundwork for some real hunky-dory resolutions for self improvement.

Naw. Those two ideas are too common. There must be some other subject matter that can fill the bill. And fill a whole lot of inches on the printed page. But what could those be?

Maybe you could get into a political mode. That would be easy to do this year, especially with the presidential election coming up. And even more especially since the stateof Iowa has taken center stage the past month.

Before getting into politics though, maybe a good look at how beneficial politics is to Iowa. Just think of the hundreds of thousands of dollars that pour into that state that’s just a little bigger than Arkansas.

Not all gold in Iowa is corn. All those golden promises that emanate from the lips of the wannabes bring out lots of green stuff. Money. Moolah. Geetas. Just start thinking and writing about what all those greenbacks could do for your budget. It’d be even better than winning the Publisher’s Clearing House numbers game. Or hitting three 7s on a slot machine. Or maybe.... just use your imagination.

But back to politics. Surely you’ve picked your favorite candidate by now. How about a few paragraphs about his/her qualifications or promises. Now those few paragraphs would surely stir up controversy in your readers, and the mailbox would be flooded with letters to the editor. That could be good. They would fill so much space that you wouldn’t have to write a columnfor at least a month. And if you’re controversial enough they might fill the bill ’til the Fourth of July. How about giving it a shot.

The Fourth automatically brings up patriotism. Everyone is, or should be, patriotic. Some good flagwaving lines about how great it is to live in the good old USA could make you a lot of friends. They might even be inspired to fly their flags on those special days flags should fly. They might even toast you with a cup of coffee sometime.

Now that would be a real positive. Almost as positive as a good religious column.

Nope. That’s one you stay clear of. Hands off. Your ideas of a religious experience and belief are yours. Yours alone. Religion is a very personal thing. It’s worth more than its weight in gold. And personal things you don’t want to tamper with.

I could go on and on. The subject matter is endless. One thing automatically leads to others that deserve a few paragraphs. So I’ll just quit. It’s about time. And about a necessity since I’ve just run out of s——— p——— a——— c——— ———e.

Dodie Evans is the editor emeritus of the Westside Eagle Observer and may be contacted by email at [email protected].