OPINION? EVERYBODY HAS ONE: A bear hunt could leave a fellow in need of Band Aids

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

I suppose none of you fellers have ever shot yourself in the foot. You probably can’t feel real sorry for a feller who does, even if it is a complete accident.

Well, maybe you could if you knew all the facts! I am asking for an open mind and remember that guilt has to be proven before a feller can hang!

I started out good yesterday morning. I got up early, ate bacon and eggs and biscuits with gravy for breakfast. The truck started and all the barn cats were ready for feed. Snip was fine, got the sick pen fed and just had two head in there, so I mean I was doing good.

My close relative had a list she handed me for things she wanted from town and informed me she would need me and my pickup to go after the stuff. I should be in and cleaned up by 11:30 and have a clean spot for her in the truck!

I caught the wire gate on the bumper of my truck and tore it up when we moved all the stock out of there a week or so ago. Since we didn’t have anything in that particular pasture, I left it and now it was my ‘fix it’ day. That is a small job for an experienced and able beef producer! I had my saddle pinchers, wire stretchers, leather gloves and fence mending extra wire in my possession. Should be a snap!

The offspring showed up and we stood around and visited a few minutes about the weather, close relatives and other important topics. They were off to sort heifers and check all the cattle since I was compelled to be in town for the afternoon. They did offer to help, and I confidently told them I could handle it with no need for their time to be spent watching me work! Loaded my gun right there!

I proceeded to lay the gate out straight and it proceeded to curl every which way. I got it untangled several times, replaced the post with a new cedar one and started mending wire. Had about four places to fix and I knew the old wire might give at any time when I pulled on it to fasten it together. Not to worry, I had done this since I was a kid. I cocked the hammer right there.

Got it done, stood it up, drug the gate to the opening and stuck the post in the bottom wire and that was a struggle. The post left about a five inch gap to the top wire. I put the stretcher on like a cheater and put my weight behind it. I don’t know how many pieces broke - it was a five-wire barb-wire gate - but I was wrapped around with wire and blood was starting to get my shirt wet! Pulled the trigger, didn’t I?

It is my opinion, and everyone has one, smile no matter how many Band Aids you have on your body. And, if anyone asks about the cause for all the injuries, just mumble something about being in Wyoming bear hunting!

Bill is a pen name used by the Gravette author of this weekly column.

Opinion, Pages 6 on 02/06/2013