GRIZ BEAR COMMENTS: Are square burgers really better than round ones?

Do square hamburgers really taste better than round ones? My visiting grandson assured me they do.

That was his request one evening last week when I was helping Mrs. Griz cook supper: "Can we have square hamburgers?"

I'm not sure of the reason for the request. I asked him why and was told they're better. Our grandson said he had never eaten square burgers before, so it's not like he had prior experience to back up his opinion, but he was quite sure they would taste far better than traditional round ones.

Mrs. Griz has a hard time not giving in to his requests, but she wasn't going to go to the extra trouble. Since I was making the patties, I figured making them square couldn't be too tough. I made big round patties and trimmed them to a square shape with a table knife - making it even more of a quandary to know what could make square burgers out-taste the round ones from which they were cut.

Perhaps I should have rolled the burgers out nice and flat to make them a bit thinner. As it was, they shrunk in width but not so much in thickness, making them a little bit like a ground-beef cube rather than a thin, but square, burger.

During the cooking process, I had to run to the store for some hamburger buns, but they were all round. There was not a package of square hamburger buns to be found!

How do you fit a square burger on a round bun without protruding corners? Well, since the burgers all shrunk a bit, I ended up with the diagonal of the square burgers fitting well within the diameter of the buns' circular shape. That did, of course, mean a little extra bun on the four sides of the square burgers.

The pickles were round, too - guess I've never heard of square pickle slices - but at least the cheese slices were square and fit the burgers quite well. Ketchup and mustard fit either shape but still managed to drip on my shirt.

I don't think I could taste the difference in a blindfolded taste test, but my grandson insists that he could. Square burgers are better!

Guess he will have to convince the bakeries to make square buns and the pickle growers to develop a new hybrid which has four corners rather than being round. Perhaps square pickles and square buns will taste better too!

Randy Moll is the managing editor of the Westside Eagle Observer. He may be contacted by email at [email protected].