OPINION? EVERYBODY HAS ONE: This cowboy life is not all it's cracked up to be

Some old hides are dumber than a goose! I was so proud of the springing cows, have 12 calves on the ground and they are all doing well, so I was getting ready to act cocky-like when this dumb old cow stopped me in my tracks!

I checked the cows first thing this morning, and I knew there were several real close to calving but didn’t see any sign that it would be before dark today. I went on about the business a busy man like myself has and didn’t think about the cows again until about three. I was tired and the wind was cold, colder than my thin jacket was good for, so I went to the house for a cup of coffee and a better wrap.

I sat around the table for a few minutes, visited with my close relative and enjoyed the fresh coffee. Didn’t hang around over 15 minutes and decided I’d best check the cows and do the evening chores.

The change of time to DST has sorta jangled my inner sense of daylight and dark. I was still thinking in regular time and thought it would get dark pretty quick. I drove around slowly and counted; they were all there, well, not all of them. One was missing, and I couldn’t figure where because the pasture is clear and flat.

Finally, I got out of the truck and walked up the dam side of the pond and there she lay! I knew she had to be turned around or the calf would probably be in deep water the instant it was delivered. I hurried back to the truck for a rope, stumped my toe on a rock and rolled down the hill, scooping up plenty of green and rocks! When I stopped, I was right at the door of the truck. Ain’t I lucky?

My hands were full of imbedded gravel, but I managed to get the rope and climb back up the dam. The cow was up and her front end was where her back end should have been. She was giving great straining grunts and when I threw the loop she deposited the calf into the water. I took off after the calf and the cow was down right unhappy with me for messing in her business and gave me a gentle boost that sent me directly into the middle of the ice cold water.

I lost both boots in the mud, was wet with pond water and still made it to the calf before it drowned. I had to be very careful dragging it out of the water to its mammy as she was still figuring I was the enemy! I made myself as small as I could and squatted on the ground while she cleaned the baby up. I didn’t move until the old cow was so busy with the calf that I figured she wouldn’t notice me. Then I made my way to the truck, barefooted!

It is my opinion, and everyone has one, this romantic life of the cowboy is not what it is cracked up to be. Cold and nasty, bare of foot and looking pretty pitiful, this old cowhand might just take a truck driving job or even sacking groceries or fixing flats!

I guess I am thankful no one was standing around offering to hire me because I am now clean, warm and full of grub. Tomorrow will be a chance to start all over!

Bill is a pen name used by the Gravette author of this weekly column.

Opinion, Pages 6 on 03/27/2013