There are better ways to give

It's mid-December and so many of the ads we see, both in print and on TV, tell us it's the "season of giving."

All the merchants we see are trying their hardest to convince us that if we want our loved ones to believe we truly care for them, we must dig deep into our pockets and purses. Nothing will do for our spouse or our children but the latest gadget, the trendiest toy, the designer-label fashion.

Indeed many are swayed by these sales pitches. Some even borrow heavily or use their credit cards to purchase gifts and pay for lavish meals. Then in January, when the bills come in, they are forced to work overtime to make the payments. This takes them away from their family which would probably rather have their presence at home than all the expensive presents.

Of course, there is nothing wrong with giving gifts. Jesus himself said, "There is more happiness in giving than there is in receiving" (Luke 6:38), indicating we should make it a regular part of our lives. But he did not intend for us to give under pressure, to feel an obligation to give just because someone has given to us. It is popular custom that has established this ritualized giving and encouraged the practice of "keeping up with the Joneses."

There is great joy in giving and we are promised rewards for giving. Proverbs 11:25 tells us, "The generous person will prosper, and whoever refreshes others will himself be refreshed." Jesus' followers practiced charitable giving. James exhorted fellow believers to "look after orphans and widows in their tribulation" (James 1:27). But the true spirit of generosity says, "Each person should give as he has decided for himself; there should be no reluctance, no sense of compulsion; God loves a cheerful giver" (2 Cor. 9:7, The New English Bible).

People who have broken free of the cycle of obligatory giving say they enjoy giving and receiving gifts from family and friends at any time. They believe unexpected gifts, given out of love, are by far the best. Their children no longer expect gifts and take them for granted. The parents are happy to see them understand that giving should come from the heart. They acknowledge that there are many little things one can do every day to give others pleasure. They surprise family members with fun activities and gifts throughout the year and everyone enjoys getting gifts, "Just because."

Frequently we are too focused on receiving rather than giving. We feel we don't get what we deserve, or at least we don't get our fair share. But what have we given? Luke 6:38 tells us to "Practice giving" and says, if we do, "people will give to you. They will pour into your laps a fine measure, pressed down, shaken together, and overflowing. For with the measure that you are measuring out, they will measure out to you in return." Yes, we will receive, but our receiving this amazing gift is contingent on our giving.

Cherokee inspirational writer Joyce Sequichie Hifler once pointed out in her "Think On These Things" column that we think of material things when we read that promise, and it does mean material things, but there are other ways to give. "Gentleness, kindness, smiles, concern and caring how someone is. These things count to a very large degree. Giving covers a multitude of things we never think about."

Hifler also noted that we can't wait until we have a large amount before we give. The smallest gift has often turned out to be the biggest. Another writer, "Living Beautifully" columnist Alexandra Stoddard, said she had a friend who gave her children the gift of baking Toll House cookies together. She'd gather them in the kitchen, turn on classical music and they'd enjoy happy times creating memories and mouthwatering treats.

According to Hifler, "The whole thing rests on what is in the heart." If we are to know the true joy of giving, we have to be able to give up our selfishness, to "continue putting up with one another and forgiving one another freely even if anyone has a cause for complaint against another," as Colossians 3:13 instructs us. Hifler says if our hearts are full of resentment or jealousy or anything negative, "we have to clean out our hearts the same way we empty our closets. Give and it shall be given to you."

Susan Holland is a reported for the Westside Eagle Observer and a longtime resident of Gravette. She may be contacted by email at [email protected]. Opinions expressed are those of the author.