I never can remember if I lived in Nebraska or Arkansas the day we buried "Can't," but I think it was in the sand dunes of Nebraska. I was probably about 6 years old.
On a hot summer day we siblings followed our older brother Verne as he carried a shovel and a piece of paper on which he'd written the word "Can't." I guess he'd gotten sick and tired of hearing his younger brothers and sisters saying, "I can't," every time he gave us an order.
We let him dig the shallow hole. Oh, Yes! He also carried a shotgun. After the hole was dug, he placed the "Can't" paper in it. Then he took the gun and peppered that paper full of holes. He shoveled sand over the hole with the bullet-riddled paper and we walked back to the ranch house. He told us he never wanted to hear that word again
It must have made a lasting impression on us, as I still cringe when someone says they can't do something when I know they could if they would.
All my brothers and sisters became high achievers. I don't know if it was because of that incident, but the young boy who buried "Can't" grew up to be a minister. He bought and flew his own plane, worked in the oil industry and fathered seven children. They were all big achievers as well. One of his daughters is working to become a lawyer, another lives in the Philippines after being in China for years, where she learned the language. One of his sons became an architect, another a police officer, among other things. Verne taught most of his children how to play musical instruments.
Another one of my brothers lived in Alaska for years, building and pastoring churches. He did mechanical work and became known as the best (and maybe only) block layer in that harsh country. Two sisters earned college degrees; others became business owners or managers. One is a teacher.
Our children inherited our drive to succeed, and I am seeing it in our grandchildren too.
The "I can!" spirit lives in all of my family. It makes it hard to grow old and have our abilities limited. It also has made it hard for me to depend on others, especially God. Perhaps, I took the lesson I learned way back as a child in Nebraska too literally. I've learned the hard way that we can't always do something.
My brothers and sisters, along with me, were all very competitive and thought we could do anything. But we often failed. We don't always succeed. Maybe it's not such a good idea to believe we can do anything.
I love that verse of Scripture that says, "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me" (Philippians 4:13). Most times, that is the only way I can do something – depend on God.
Marie Putman is a former Gravette resident and regular contributor to the Westside Eagle Observer. Opinions expressed are those of the author.
Editorial on 02/05/2014