It's now safe to predict: Winter is over. It must be so. March arrived full force Sunday and area fire departments were called to several rural roads blocked by trees that fell to the 45-50 mph wind.
Most contrary leaves that had held on to trees also said bye-bye to their hosts. And, of course, there were sweet gum balls.
You who are familiar with my "sweet gum project" have been spared reading about it -- until now. All last summer, I looked upward into the dense shade-producing limbs on that tree and, saints be praised, I could almost count on my fingers the number of sweet gum balls. There went my annual gripe against those monsters and also my plea for investors to join my scheme -- make that the money-making project (A.K.A. scam) -- to market the daggum spiny seed balls for who knows what.
Fast backward to the first frost which sent the leaves scattering, only to reveal hundreds and hundreds of the pesky balls swinging in time to gentle November breezes. I vowed to ignore them, not rake up the few which fell, because they continued falling all winter long, with a resulting three- or four-time rake job.
Sunday, after church, I checked out the back yard. Sure enough, the ground was littered and the branches above seemed almost barren of the prickly spheres. I dug out the rake and soon had the ground cleared, other than the occasional lone hold-out which often barely missed my head. The rake was put away for the duration of the winter, or so I thought.
Shortly before sunset, I ventured out again and, curses and drats, there under the spreading limbs of last summer's shade provider were hundreds, no, make that thousands, more of the little critters, which seemed to have crawled out of the ground.
And, above me, limbs on the tree swayed in the stiff breeze, occasionally squeaking, as if laughing at me.
Needless to say the rake will get another workout very soon. And, for the rest of you patient readers, there are a couple of piles of those round sticky, spiny missiles which are yours for the taking.
I'm not holding my breath. After all, winter surely must be over (see the first paragraph) and sometime before the Fourth of July I'll find the proper use for them. I'm working on an oversize bean flip. Now there's another money-maker scheme!
Dodie Evans is editor emeritus of the Westside Eagle Observer. He may be contacted by email at [email protected]. Opinions expressed are those of the author.
Editorial on 01/15/2014