It should be a criminal offense

It should be a criminal offense! I've told my staff members it's sufficient cause to be fired, though I've not followed through on my threats. And yet, writers -- even good ones -- and professionals keep on committing it. I see it in articles written by staff members and even in letters and materials written by educators, some with doctorate degrees listed behind their names and, yes, some who are English teachers!

What is this offense? It is a violation of the rules of English punctuation. It's a misplacement of the period and comma when used with quotation marks.

What's the rule? In these United States, periods and commas always [emphasis mine] go inside the quotation marks. Other ending punctuation marks such as colons, semicolons, question marks and exclamation marks go inside the quotation marks when a part of the quoted material and outside when not. Look it up. It's in Webster's Dictionary and in style guides prepared by Kate Turabian and the Associated Press. Yes, the British may see things differently, but we declared our independence in 1776 and are no longer subject to the British Crown or to British punctuation practices.

That means no one in the U.S. should ever have to see quotations like this: "If you put your periods and commas outside the quotations marks again", said the editor, "you'll be fired". Rather, it should look like this: "If you put your periods and commas outside the quotations marks again," said the editor, "you'll be fired."

What's so hard about that? It seems simple to me. And yet, each week -- probably every day -- I receive articles and press releases with it wrong. And, as I said, many of the punctuation criminals are those who can't say, "I didn't know." They're newspaper writers, doctors, lawyers, teachers and government officials -- OK, maybe government officials can say they didn't know, but they should; and lawyers may need to use British style and old English, but why?

What's the big deal? Well, it probably isn't a big deal to most. But, when you're an editor and have to fix all those insignificant-to-some errors, it gets tiresome and time consuming. If I spend 10 minutes a week fixing punctuation errors, to say nothing of other errors like mismatched subjects and verbs (co-mingling of plurals with singulars), that amounts to a full work day each year; and, if I figure it out in career terms, I could have spent a month or two doing other things beside moving periods and commas inside the quotation marks.

It should be a big deal to English teachers and educators too. They are supposed to teach students good grammar and punctuation. When they violate the rule themselves, they teach their students to violate the rule. It's kind of like cops who speed when there's no emergency and without using their emergency lights and siren; it sets a bad example.

And, of course, if teachers and educators spread their errors by violating the rules, I will receive more erring submissions and have to spend even more time moving commas and periods back inside the quotation marks. Soon, I may be spending 20 minutes a week when, if educators did their job, I would be spending less time each week fixing such aberrations and might not have to do much editing at all!

Yes, maybe I'm being petty. Mrs. Griz probably doesn't call me her "English professor," dial my phone for word spellings and ask me to check over her work letters and documents for nothing. But if it takes the same amount of time to write or type periods and commas in the wrong place as it does in the right, why not put them in the right place in the first place?

OK, I've voiced my complaint. I've fired no one but have fired off this column to fix the world's problem.

I wonder if anyone will read it? I'll be watching for change. Perhaps, the violation will become extinct. And, when I do receive a letter or submission with the offense, there will be no excuse. I can reply with a notice to appear -- unless, of course, the error is promptly fixed and a letter of intent attached with a promise to never, ever violate the punctuation law again.

Once that problem is solved, I can move on to other offenses against English punctuation and grammar involving the use of commas and semicolons in compound sentences. I can't wait.

Randy Moll is the managing editor of the Westside Eagle Observer. He may be contacted by email at [email protected]. Opinions expressed are those of the author.