Be very careful what you ask for because you might get it! You want to think of the positive and then sit down and write a list of the possible negative side of those things you might think you need.
I recommend using a legal pad, yellow and lined, a good black ink pen and no background noise. A hot cup of black and strong coffee might be a good idea, just to jolt the brain. Do this before any documents are signed or money spent!
My close relative and I went to town last week and did a little shopping at the machinery dealers. She was shopping for a new lawn mower and I just wanted to visit and look at the shiny haying rigs. I rub my hands over them, pet them, ask the price and step back!
I sure enjoy talking to the fellers who come in and are serious about the purchase of said machines. It is a pure joy to watch a man spend money, knowing full well he has to borrow the cash and pay it back!
The lawn mowers are not the regular old kind that you get on, turn the key, pull the lever to spin the blades and push the gas pedal to begin your job. I don't like to look completely stupid, therefore I don't have any desire to try to drive one of those things that look like they are guided by broken handle bars! I like a steering wheel and a gas pedal, or a pair of bridle reins and a good bit. So what do you think my close relative wanted to try out? She is an enigma and some days a burr under the saddle blanket!
My close relative reminds me a little of Crazy Horse, the old war chief. You remember him. He planned the battle that did in Yellow Hair. She was sure enough in the spirit of the moment, high on need to clean up her yard, and her jaw was set! I was wishing I had sent her to town with one of the offspring but too late now, as usual. I was trapped into watching and nodding like I knew what was going on.
The mower purred like a kitten and she took off at break-neck speed. She went around puddles and turned figure eights like it was the easiest thing in the world, working those handlebars like a pro. I had to be aware of my posture and keep my mouth from hanging open as she circled that thing around the parking lot. I looked silly anyhow, standing there holding a purse of yellow leather. Married fellers do what they are told many times, regardless of the time or place!
I was pretty sure that mower would run out of gas before we could get my close relative to shut it down. She had circled the parking lot and was driving between tractors and balers, running at Mach 4 -- not really, just appeared like it to me. I didn't know the ticket price of that contraption, but I was getting a clue that I would soon find out.
I doubt that sour pickles could have wiped that grin off my close relative's face as she dismounted that mower. She was pink of cheek, giggling like a school girl, grabbing at the purse hanging on my arm and telling me to go get the pickup and back it up to the loading dock.
It is my opinion, and everyone has one, before a great deal of money is laid on the line for cutting grass, the idea of throwing up an electric fence and buying some calves to graze that grass should be considered. I mentioned that idea, and immediately wished I had written a list of things not to say on such an occasion. I do not believe the purchase price ever entered the usually sane mind of the person who was writing the check that I knew she was writing as I drove around to the loading dock. I was once again, as so many times in my life, taken to the laundry. I refused to even glance at the new balers as we drove out of the area.
I intend to mention the positive and negative list thing to my close relative, but it will have to wait till she finishes mowing!
Bill is the pen name of the Gravette area author of this weekly column. Opinions expressed are those of the author.
Editorial on 04/29/2015