I still feel the need for an authoritatian figure

My doctor told me, on my last visit, that he sees no sign of cancer. It will take some time to renew my strength from the draining chemotherapy, though.

I want to thank all my readers and friends for their prayers, cards, kind words and loyalty through my last year of sickness and the 15 years of writing newspaper columns. It is with regret that you will not be reading any more of them, but I am sending the last column I'd written.

Need for authority

My views on roles of men and women haven't changed much since I was a child. The father was the authority figure, doing the heavy outside work and making most decisions, while the woman kept the home. I have been criticized more than once for expressing that view.

My father ruled his household with a harsh hand. Us females often worked harder than the men and had more responsibility, but not as much say in matters. (You've probably heard the saying, "Man works from morning to night, but a woman's work is never done.")

I see those same ideas carried on in my children. However, I sense more equality and gentleness in their relationships. In fact, when my first grandchild Morgan was born, Gary became Mr. Mom and cared for the new baby while Teresa worked outside the home, bringing in the paycheck. Son Bill and his wife seem to share household tasks more evenly, though Bill mows the lawn while Franziska cleans house and has most of the care of Alex.

However, I still feel the need of an authority figure. I like to know a male makes decisions and cares for me. When son Dan moved home, he not only became my caregiver but provided that male figure I seemed to require. He takes care of things I can no longer do and provides my security. Son Bill is not as involved since he lives in Atlanta, but I know I can count on him -- he's assured me of this. And what would I do without my son-in-law Gary! He would do anything for me, and often does. He's taken me for chemo treatments, for doctor's visits, repaired my house, mowed my yard -- whatever needs done, I know I can count on him. That means a lot to me.

Having two sons is not the same as having a daughter, though. When I needed someone to take me to the emergency room, I called on her. Like a nurse, I wanted that tender, loving, feminine care. Teresa cleans my house, whether it needs it or not, cooks for me to make sure I eat, calls and checks up on me. I'm so lucky to have sons and a daughter. That meets my emotional as well as my physical needs.

One day I observed a daughter, who was her mother's caregiver. The daughter talked so rudely to her mom and I could tell she was angry and resentful of her role. I thanked God then and there for my children. They give me emotional, mental and physical support. I need that at this time. I'm also thankful for a larger family, my friends, siblings and church family. They pray for me, send me cards of support, call me.

Maybe one day I won't be so needy and can do more for others. But, I will always need those authority figures in my life. God is my ultimate gentle, authoritative person.

Marie Putman is a former Gravette resident and regular contributor to the Westside Eagle Observer. Opinions expressed are those of the author.

Editorial on 03/11/2015