As many of you know, I'm a staunch supporter of the U.S. Constitution and its Bill of Rights and it troubles me to no end to learn government institutions are trampling on my constitutionally-protected rights.
The other day, Mrs. Griz and I were watching a TV show and learned how the government really does eavesdrop into just about everything we do. It can set up little video cameras to watch us, look into our houses with infra-red scopes and watch us in the dark with night-vision scopes. Government agencies can monitor all our communications with listening devices, satellites and special electronic receivers on planes. All the new technology has made it possible for big government to pry into almost anything and everything -- from our store purchases, travels, emails and telephone communications. With satellites and drones, we can be watched. With cell site simulators, government officials intercept our cell phone calls and pry into our private phone data. And government entities can track us through the GPS systems built right into our telephones and know every place we've gone. Big Brother monitors everything from our CB's to our emails and telephone communications.
I know it's supposedly for a good cause, to find terrorists and others who might be a threat to our big government. I'm told they sift through all the collected data with an eye for certain key words which might tip them off if someone is up to no good. But is it really worth giving up all our privacy to keep the government in the know?
The government said it is transparent but it likes to hide things in legalese and volumes of paperwork so we won't know for sure what it's actually doing. And government agencies like to use deceiving code words and code names for just about everything they do -- I assume it's so we won't know what's really going on.
But Mrs. Griz and I kind of like our privacy too and don't feel like it's the government's business to know everything we're saying and doing. To give us just a little more privacy and discourage the government from keeping an eye on us, I figured we'd start using code names and code words, too, so that the government would maybe quit snooping into our private lives.
I figured it's none of the government's business if I call Ms. Griz "Honey," so we now substitute the code words "Bee Keeper" for "Honey." Those spying government officials don't need to know when we're going to eat, so I developed our own codes for meal times: "The Early Event" for breakfast, "The High Noon Event" for lunch, and "The Big Event" for supper. Since no one needs to know when Ms. Griz is going to start cooking, we call it "Operation Toast." If I'm going to be home late, I tell her that "I missed the mark." But, if I'm running on schedule and plan to be home on time, I tell her that "I'm right on target."
My plan has worked pretty well so far. I'm sure I've left the government spies puzzled as to what Mrs. Griz and I are really up to. I'll bet those intelligence agencies listening in will be so baffled they just give up entirely on tracking me.
Just last night, I wanted to tell my "Honey" that my work schedule was going well and I'd be home in time for supper. I called her on my cell phone and told her: "Bee Keeper, you can commence Operation Toast. I'm right on target for the big event."
I'm sure that, with communications like these, I'll keep those government eavesdroppers confused about Mrs. Griz and me and discourage them from invading our privacy!
Randy Moll is the managing editor of the Westside Eagle Observer. He may be contacted by email at [email protected]. Opinions expressed are those of the author.
Editorial on 02/03/2016