GRAVETTE — Drug take-back programs are becoming a common thing, with thousands of pounds of narcotic drugs taken off the street and destroyed every year; but the police department here has come up with a new drug-fighting measure called "Joint Exchange," and the department is hoping the program will be a success and reduce the number of people suffering from OHD (Often High Syndrome).
The program is scheduled to begin on Monday, July 18, and continue through Friday, July 22. And, if the program is successful, police may extend it indefinitely.
"The program works like this," said drug enforcement officer Slick Wilson: "You bring your joint to our joint and we give you a free time share in the county joint. What could be better!"
Wilson said the joint exchange program would accept as many joints as marijuana users could bring in to the police station.
"The more joints you bring, the more time you get in your time share," Wilson explained. "Related items are welcome too -- things like rolling papers, home-made pipes, bongs, roach clips and the like," he added. "We give added time for paraphernalia!"
And Gravette's police chief, Lucky Brewster, called the idea a good one and expected the department would have some takers.
"Considering the summer heat, a time share in the county joint is a good deal," he said. "The county joint is air conditioned, has all the necessary accommodations and even offers regular cold sandwiches."
"Hey, ma-a-a-n! That definitely sounds like a good program to me," said Stony Greenleaf, a local joint user who said his mind felt just a little bit messed up. "My life's nothing but a drag; and the heat, dude, it's just bearing down on me -- all the time the heat's bearing down on me."
Greenleaf said he had gathered up all his pipes and bongs and was looking through his '79 Mercury for any old weed stogies he could find which might still have some residue.
"I'm getting together as much stuff as I can," he said, while holding the smoking embers of something in an alligator clip. "I always wanted to get in on some time shares, man, and this sounds like about as good a way as any. It's nice to see the police giving back to the community for a change!" he added. "This is just great, man!"
Just how successful the new program will be remains to be seen, but the community thinks it's promising and could net a sizable harvest.
How to dispose of the stuff was also undecided since the drug take-back program is for prescription drugs only and the trash service doesn't pick up weeds or yard waste. One community supporter of the new program suggested a bonfire in the park with the whole community invited to gather around the fire and celebrate the new program's success. Watch future columns for a date and time.
S.A. Tired covers fictitious news from an unrealistic perspective for the Eagle Observer. He may be contacted by email at [email protected]. News and views in Spinning the News are claimed by no one else but the author.
Editorial on 07/13/2016