HIGHFILL -- A rural Highfill man with AADD who became lost on the Internet was finally tracked down with a cyber-tracking dog and returned to his home page on Tuesday, according to reports from the police department here.

It all started when Amos Web Walker, 69, decided to try out the computer his children bought for him and set up in his home, southwest of downtown Highfill. His children installed the computer so they could communicate and actually see Amos via video chat rather than just talking to him by telephone. After several weeks of not logging into the Google account his children set up for him, Amy Walker, his daughter from Dallas, Texas, finally called Amos and scolded him for not turning on his new computer and logging in.

Anyway, that's when it happened. Not wishing to displease his daughter, he turned on the device and, after several minutes of careful deliberation, clicked on the Google Chrome web browser. Not quite remembering how to start a video chat with his daughter, he typed her name in the search line.

That, of course, brought up Amy Walker, the web actor and singer. Since he had never heard that his daughter was an actor or a singer, he clicked on her name and found that it was a different Amy Walker who talks in 21 different accents. He wondered if she might be a distant relative but he couldn't determine just where she was from because she kept changing her accent in her YouTube videos.

Confused about who this Amy was, he clicked on the back button and retried finding his Amy. Somehow he ended up on the Walker lawn tractor site, which he found interesting and he subscribed. He especially liked the leaf cleanup system and thought he might like to find a dealer and schedule a test drive. That brought up a map of Colorado, and he clicked on the Greeley store since it was closest to Arkansas.

When he looked up Greeley to find out just where the Walker dealer was located, he saw a link to a Thanksgiving lunch at the senior activity center on Thursday. Not being able to determine what was on the menu, he clicked on shopping and dining, which took him to Pope Farms Garden and Produce Center there in Greeley. Another click on the Farmers' Market tab took him to the Longmont Farmers' Market at the Boulder County Fairgrounds, where his eye caught another link to a similar market in Laramie, Wyo. When he clicked on Laramie, he ended up at a site selling videos of the Laramie TV series from 1959 to 1963. A pop-up ad took him to Amazon.com where he signed up for a 30-day free trial -- he didn't know what it was, but it was free.

At Amazon, he typed in Walker again and viewed an assortment of walkers and thought one of them might come in handy some day. He liked the one with the extra storage basket. Another ad took him to outdoor apparel and he saw some flannel shirts he liked at Lands'End. Wondering where Lands' End was located, he entered a search and ended up at the Lands End Lookout on San Francisco Bay in California. He decided to look at some photos of the Golden Gate Bridge while he was there and soon found himself aboard a Golden Gate Transit ferry.

Not knowing how to get back, he recognized a YouTube icon and clicked on it. After watching a video about the tolling system on the Golden Gate Bridge and calling to set up electronic payment should he ever cross the bridge, an ad took him to a McDonalds Restaurant, and he stopped for a bite to eat since he was hungry after all his web travels.

While at McDonalds, Amos finally realized he was lost and called his daughter Amy on the telephone and told her of his travels but said he didn't know how to get back to his home page. That's when she called the police department and they started tracking Amos to bring him back home.

By entering the IP scent of Amos' computer to a special cyber tracking-dog software recently installed at the police station, Amos was tracked, IP to IP, from Amy Walker (wherever she is from) to Greeley and Longmont, Colo., to Laramie, Wyo., to Amazon and to Lands End and a McDonalds in San Francisco. Then, with a single click of the home icon, Amos found himself back at home in Highfill but still no closer to knowing how to reach out to his daughter Amy via Google's video chat.

S.A. Tired covers fictitious news from an unrealistic perspective for the Eagle Observer. He may be contacted by email at [email protected]. News and views in Spinning the News are claimed by no one else but the author.