Do you fellers remember that I am not a brave man when it comes to the old Sneaky Snake variables found in feed rooms and every place on the rock pile I call my home? I am not a coward when it comes to facing tornadoes, snow storms, storming women, and can say I have never run away from a child throwing a fit! I figure I am able to face what the world slings at me about as well as the next feller my age!
We all grin when we see the green starting to show in the pastures, and my close relative has some flowers that are about six inches tall now, here in the middle of February. The warm weather has been a real boon to all the beef producers, calves hitting the ground and cows giving plentiful milk. I am grateful and blessed as much as the next feller, but let me tell you what terrible thing has happened to me already!
I am required to assist the close relative as she cleans out the corners of the yard and piles leaves and limbs for burning. I snort about it, tell her how much time, valuable time at that, she is causing me to spend on nonsense, and does she listen? Not even for a second. I am pretty sure she knows she could make me dance a reel if she insisted!
The leaves are always deep in the corner by the front steps and I hate to rake them out because of the stink of rotted vegetation. I began the chore with a vengeance, slinging the sticks and trash a-flying as I growled to myself. Then, causing me to almost scream like a little girl, a long black, thick thing that was knotted up and heavy hooked onto the tines of my rake! I am guilty of letting out a weak little snort, moan or squeal, I cannot tell exactly what it was, and stumbling backward so fast that I lost my footing.
We have many sturdy pots of all sorts of materials stationed around the yard. I landed flat of my back, head squarely on the rim of a nice metal one and, when I awoke, I was aware of my face being washed with a cold cloth. The face I looked up into was a little strained and her lips were tightly pursed. I blinked and grinned. Wow, my head was throbbing, but she was worried, so I was not going to let on that it hurt.
Then, awake and aware, I remembered the snake. Struggling to stand up, I was assisted and she started laughing that dad-gummed-knowing laugh! The snake was long gone and I had a knot on the back side of my head the size of a goose egg. My close relative was still laughing as she held onto my arm, supposedly assisting me into the house. She was wobbly from giggling so hard she needed the arm to steady herself!
It is my opinion, and everyone has one, there are worse jobs than cleaning out leaves and limbs in the yard. There are also many youngsters who are desperate for a little pocket money and it seems like it would be the kind thing to do to hire some of them to help my close relative with all the heavy work in her yard. I think I would be a very generous feller and pay a little more than the average worker makes to get some helper who would work hard. You might consider this a want ad!
Spring is near, watch your step!
Bill is the pen name used by the Gravette-area author of this weekly column. Opinions expressed are those of the author.
Editorial on 02/22/2017