It’s only happened to me a few times, but the occurrences have made me a little more careful about what I carry in my pockets, because not being careful could cause some serious embarrassment and possibly even an injury.
As a photographer, and especially when using flash, it’s not uncommon for me to carry a handful of batteries in my pockets at times. It’s handy as long as I can remember which pocket has the good batteries and which, the expired ones that came out of my camera or flash.
But carrying a number of batteries in your pockets can be hazardous, too. More than once I’ve come home from a basketball game, run over to the counter and quickly unloaded my pockets of all their contents because my pants were just about to catch fire - there may even have been a little smoke.
Mrs. Griz didn’t believe me at first when I told her that my pants were about to go up in flames, not until she touched one of the batteries I had pulled from my pockets and couldn’t hold on to it because it was so hot.
It seems that carrying a handful of batteries together with keys, a pocket knife and a pocket full of change isn’t such a good idea - at least not if the right conductors complete a circuit, or part of one, with the batteries in my pocket.
If my pants had started smoking at a basketball game or another sporting event, the embarrassment could have been hard to live down. What would I do if my front pockets suddenly burst into flame? I don’t think I’d have much choice about the matter.
And how would I explain what happened? Perhaps I could say I was just an innocent victim of spontaneous combustion.
Of course I should know better. I’ve had a close call once before a number of years ago which could have resulted in some more serious burns and a little noise to draw attention to my foolishness.
On that occasion, I had been out shooting and had left a few .22 shells in my pocket when I dumped in a handful of AA batteries and headed off with my camera. All of a sudden, I felt this burning sensation against my thigh. When I quickly unloaded my pockets and dropped the contents because they were too hot to handle, I felt fortunate I had no powder burns to my leg and no muffled firecrackers going off so everyone would know.
Brass is a great conductor and heating up primers and gun powder in one’s pockets is probably not a smart thing to do. I’ve wondered since whether they would have gotten hot enough to ignite but I have been a lot more careful to empty such items from my pockets before going off with a camera and batteries - I guess you could say I don’t really want to find out what would happen.
But the metals in coins conduct electricity and heat up too. I was a little less careful about pocket change until that combination made a burning impression upon me.And, though I’ve not experienced it, I’ve heard batteries can explode. I guess I’d rather not have that happen in my jean pockets either.
Have I quit carrying batteries in my pockets? No, but I do try to be careful not to mix them with other electrical conductors.
But I suppose, if you ever see me dancing and slapping my legs at a ball game, it’s not because I feel like dancing. It’s because I forgot to empty my pockets of all those leftover pennies that won’t buy much anymore before dropping in a handful of fresh batteries for my camera’s flash unit.
Randy Moll is the managing editor of the Westside Eagle Observer. He may be reached by e-mail at rmoll @ nwaonline .com.
Opinion, Pages 6 on 12/08/2010