A Walk in the Park | It's summer and time to attend those reunions

Whether it is a family reunion, class reunion, cousin reunion, friend reunion or co-worker reunion, summer is the season for such gatherings.

Two of my children have high school class reunions this summer. And, last weekend I had my annual school alumni reunion and a family get-together going on at the same time. It was a little tricky, but I managed to attend both. I don’t like to miss these things.

My dad always enjoyed attending family reunions and especially liked it when some of the rest of the family went with him. As a kid, I just didn’t get the point of going somewhere to be with a crowd of people that I really didn’t know.It wasn’t my idea of fun except that I do remember that the food was always good. Once there, I knew I would be taken around to be introduced - or sometimes reintroduced - to my distant relatives.

Genuinely proud of the common thread, Dad would say things like, “This is granddad Bob’s oldest daughter’s youngest son and his family.” My mind worked hard to visualize just where and how the branches of our family trees connected while Dad continued with one introduction after another.

Yes, Dad enjoyed any reunion that had a link to his family in any way, and often I was among the ones that went with him- although, admittedly, I wasn’t always enthused about it.

Ironically, after often rolling my eyes at the thought of being present at these gatherings as a kid, I now find myself not only attending my share of reunions but even, in some cases, being the one responsible for planning them! I guess my Dad’s enthusiasm for staying connected with those from the past somehow rubbed off on me.

Since I graduated from tiny Kingston High School in 1978, my senior class has had seven reunions and, naturally, I haven’t missed one yet.

However, I am well aware that not everyone enjoys school reunions, and I have heard all kinds of reasons why. Understandably, reuniting with old classmates is often undesirable for those who don’t have particularly fond memories of their school days.

One common remark from those who don’t wish to attend goes something like this: “Those people weren’t nice to me then, why would I want to spend time with them now?”

It took me a while to come up with an answer for that question but I finally did. Now I like to remind them that time is a great “equalizer.” By and large, the beautiful classmates of yesterday now look about like the rest of us. The “snooty” ones are as friendly as the next person, and the ones who used to feel a little more important have been knocked down a notch or two. Best of all, most people who have been out of school for any length of time now realize there’s no good reason not to be friends with everyone and those old “cliques” have faded.

I have had some very nice visits at reunions with people who never talked to me in high school. Now that we have raised our own kids, life has humbled us a bit and we have a better feel for what’s really important.

We are a group of people bound together by one common thing, and in that we all hold an equal share. Our collective pasts are intertwined because we spent part of it at the same school. We walked the same hallways, were influenced by many of the same teachers, rode school buses together, played on the same teams, took driver’s education together and often knew each other’s families.

These shared experiences of our youth, for better or for worse, helped shape who and what we are, but it doesn’t stop there. Sinceleaving high school, we have become much more.

With time, “the great equalizer,” doing its work, I like to think we have continued to get better. Going back for a reunion, especially after several years have past, helps us to realize that most people wise up over time. Yes, our outer bodies may look a little worse for wear, but inside we’ve all improved with age.

I just wish more of those who could benefit from knowing this would show up for a class reunion and see for themselves that it all turned out OK.

Annette Rowe is a freelance writer and a speechlanguage pathologist at Siloam Springs High School. She may be reached by email at awalkinthepark50 @ yahoo.com.

Opinion, Pages 5 on 07/07/2010