Listeners play active roll in communication

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

The following was written in collaboration with my co-worker, friend and fellow speech-language pathologist Mary Droho. Truth is, Mary wrote a bunch of it and I just filled in here and there, so I want to give her plenty of credit.

Since American Speech-Language-Hearing Association designated the month of May as “Better Hearing and Speech Month,” Mary and I decided to combine talents and come up with something that promotes our profession.

What is communication? That may seem like a simple question at first, but I remember a college instructor spending quitea while explaining exactly what it entailed and even included drawings on the board that we were later asked to reproduce on an exam.

Actual “communication” takes place only when certain criteria are met and a circuit between sender and receiver is completed. A message is transmitted by one communication partner and received, processed and understood by another. When the receiver acknowledges to the sender that the intended message is understood, the communication circuit is complete and successful.

We take all this for granted as long as all systems work effectively. However, when something interferes with any of the steps involved, communication can be anything but easy. All steps in the process are very important, but discussing the important role of the listener is the one we will focus on here.

One of the greatest moments for a parent is when a baby says that very first word. Whether it is “mama,” “dada,” “doggie” or “juice,” what an amazing milestone! It is something to record in the baby book and a reason to pick up the phone and call the grandparents. Suddenly, that little one is communicating with a word that has meaning to the listener.

We soon figure out at this early stage of talking that “mama” means different things to the listener. It could mean, “Come here right away.” “Dada” might mean, “I hear Daddy’s truck outside.” It is a whole sentence in just one word. That single word has to carry a load ofinformation because baby has a limited word set to draw from.

And, because communication is a two-way street, the proud parent now takes on the role of active listener, catching that word and running with it. Working to figure out what is meant when those first words are used can be a delightful game that brings baby and parent closer together as they experience “communication.”

Whenever communication is limited, as it is in the very beginning for a baby, or for a host of other reasons, the job of the listener becomes even more demanding. Listeners have to look for clues to figure out what the speaker reallymeans to say. There can be plenty of hurdles to jump. Maybe an unfamiliar code is being used, like sign language. Sometimes speech is heavily accented and difficult to understand, the voice is too soft to hear orthe smooth flow of speech is broken as it is when people stutter. Being the listener becomes a very active role.

Have you ever tried to read the scrawls of a kindergartener? It takes imagination! The speech of a young child can be hard to “read” and understand too - as hard to figure out as their writing. For the listener, a feeling of “I wish I could understand what you are saying” can be distressing. But for the person who is unsuccessfully trying to get a message across, the frustration can be immense.

Clearly, the listener is not the passive half of the circle of communication ... far from it! Listening can put problem-solving skills to the test. Watching, gesturing, thinking, writing and most important of all, letting the speaker know you are trying your best to “get it” and that you need all the help theycan provide can make the connection happen.

Communication is a two-way street but it isn’t always a 50-50 interchange. There are times the listener may have to step up and provide the missing link when communication fails. Whether it is with children using unclear speech, speakers of other languages, those with physical challenges or any number of other factors that can interfere with the transmission of a message, the effort of the active listener can make all the difference.

Additional information about a variety of issues related to speech, language and hearing is available at www.asha.org.

Annette Rowe is a freelance writer and a speechlanguage pathologist at Siloam Springs High School. She may be reached by email at awalkinthepark50 @ yahoo.com.

Opinion, Pages 5 on 05/26/2010