OPINION? EVERYBODY HAS ONE: I may have been wrong this year, but I'm usually right

Those male offspring of my close relative showed up for breakfast while I was on my first cup of coffee.

I heard them come in the drive because they drive like their hair is on fire. It was so cold that it sorta surprised me that they were up and out so early.

I opened the door and waved them in; not a need to do that because they freely come and go as if they still lived here. The close relative set two more plates and started more bacon to fry. They were laughing and pushing each other around like a couple of 18-monthold bulls. I didn’t think anything about them showing up except, as stated, it was too cold!

We sat around the table after they hugged their cook, and things got pretty quiet. I was reading the front page of the paper, not paying attention to them when I heard one of them say something about who is going to start. I laid the paper aside and looked them square in the eye. The hooting and snickering started, and my close relative joined in on the mess. What in the world was so funny, I just couldn’t tell!

Yes, it is cold and, yes, I have six cows about ready to calve and a pasture full of new babies and one prolapsed cow to see to and,yes, you made it through early February without a problem. The knee slapping was disgusting to me, and the laughter just kept on coming in rolls, like thunder! I wanted to peel their heads.

The breakfast of bacon, biscuits, eggs and gravy quieted things down and the dadgummed offspring ate with a vengeance just like they were growing boys. We did get to talk about some other farm stuff, like the need for reseeding the fescue that died last summer in the drought. We also lost a good many trees that probably will fall on fences during wind and rain so they must be taken care of before it happens.

Both of these offspring are worth their grub and I am proud of them every day or darn near every day. I could do with less picking on me, but they seem to thrive on it! My close relative is always in there, thick as a pack of thieves they are!

It is my opinion, and everyone has one, I might have been wrong this year, and yet I am right on the money 99.9 percent of the time. Well, at least 75 or 80 percent, or this place would belong to some other poor feller trying to make a living on this rock pile. I can take it, the razzing, I reckon, because the offspring do respect the parents on this outfit. I appreciate the way they have manned up and are making this outfit better year by year.

If you are fortunate enough to have someone wanting to walk in your tracks, you are a blessed man. You have to be fair, gentle and foul up once in a while to keep things on an even keel, but it is all worth the effort!

Bill is a pen name used by the Gravette author of this weekly column.

Opinion, Pages 4 on 04/03/2013