With everything going on in the world, did you miss me last week? Whoa there, I mean did you miss the 'cuff? I'd almost bet my last quarter that you figured the old 'cuffer would try to hit a home run growling about the shouting and crying after the election. Another whoa there; the election ain't over yet and probably won't be for ... let's just say a long time.
Confession is in order. I was prepared to 'cuff it out with some personal opinions just like those self-appointed tube experts do every time they get a chance. It was then a little speck of that gray matter raised its head and suggested, or rather shouted, "Better wait a while; this election will probably go down in history; just wait a while." And believe it or not, I still shudder every time that word corona pops up. Such a shame; those typewriters at one time played a great role in our lives. But the other day I overheard someone say, "It doesn't look like it's hurt beer sales."
Let's just drop it there and go on to another word that has been stirring up excitement at a friend's home. It's not about the election or a leaking roof, or ... any other event that can cause havoc. Before I explain, there will be a future 'cuff that delves into election ... or rather problems about a word the 'cuff has been writing about, a word that holds nothing but bad news for the world and America. Longtime 'cuff readers might guess what that word is; more about that later.
Let's go on to that other word: SKUNK. There's no word quite like that which can cause such confusion and unpleasantness and ... well, it depends on how the word is used. There are many directions that can pop up until the problem is solved. Let's get down to the real scene or rather the real scent. The scent lingered a little longer. Isn't it true politics and liberal problems can stir up lots of bad scenes/scents that do nothing but cause uncertainty or sometimes serious problems? Are skunks included?
Skunks caused trouble a lot more in the good old days. Sometimes they would get under homes or sometimes a boy trapper who would have just walked his traps and removed a good pelt ... would then go to school, where. ... This old 'cuffer has had only two experiences with skunks. The first was when he had just moved into the new location of the weekly newspaper, "The Gravette News Herald."
Just a little background: the paper was located in an old, century-old, frame building when a vacant building on Main Street became available. After fixing it up, the paper and print shop equipment was located in its new home. Just a short time after the move, ye old black-ink-hands printer opened the front door for the day and then ... that extra potent odor poured out onto Main Street and I'm sure filtered into several nearby businesses. The little critter had worked under the building from the alley up to the front door and it was there he decided it was time to ...
He must have been as big as a hippo or a wild hog. The floor was at ground level and there was no crawl space. It was tear up a big chunk of flooring or ... time was cheaper than the repair costs. It took a lot of time and patience and especially joking when a friend would stop by to see our new location. We offered clothespins for anyone who would wear one. Honestly, it wasn't all that bad; it just lasted a long time and, finally, it was only noticeable when it rained or was damp. A long-burning special type candle did the job.
The other skunk escapade occurred late one night when I was returning home from late work. Just about a block from home the headlights showed a small white splotch in the middle of the road. Driving closer, I saw the mama skunk marching down the street and trailing her were three little fellers in West Point fashion, tails pointing upward. I didn't have the camera with me and that once-in-a-lifetime picture never went on file. That was before -- probably it was meant to be. Had I stepped out of the car and headed a little closer toward the marchers, mama skunk may have changed the picture formation and done other matters too. I just followed them slowly down the street and breathed a sigh of relief as they passed our house. There would be no hosing off ten times in the back yard tonight.
I can see them now -- twelve little feet in cadence heading east toward a sunrise that would find them in a new home. A smile comes to mind as I recall that vision. Maybe some interesting and now-pleasant reminisce vision can perk up a little of that gray matter for you.
In the meantime, will the 'cuff bring up that other word? Yes, but it won't be a pleasant picture but one which will show problems for all mankind. 'Till next time, keep smiling; brighter days are ahead. It's just that we can't tell just when that will be.
Dodie Evans is the former owner and long-time editor of the "Gravette News Herald." Opinions expressed are those of the author.