DECATUR Well, another new year is upon us, and people are making all sorts of wild guesses and predictions about what this new year might bring.
Now, I could make some predictions regarding the nation, the economy, the dollar and such things, but exactly what will happen is not in my hands - and that is a good thing. Beside that, I may need something to write about for the rest of the new year.
Instead of making wild guesses into the unknown or predicting things without any certainty, I’d prefer to be a bit more on the conservative side. After all, if you’re going to predict things about a new year, it should be done scientifically and be based on some sort of solid evidence.
That’s why I don’t just take a stab in the dark when anticipating what will happen in the new year. I study trends so that I can be fairly certain that my predictions will be accurate.
First of all, I have observed over the many new yearsthrough which I have lived that everyone tends to get another year older. For kids, that might not be so bad; because they’re growing up and hopefully maturing in mind and body. But when you’ve already done that quite a few years back, it generally means more aches and pains, a few more gray hairs and maybe a little less memory. I expect that my body parts that kind of creak and groan when I get up may just creak and groan a little more as this new year gets old.
I’ve also observed a trend in the clothes I wear. Every year clothes sizes seem to get a little smaller. I’m sure it must be due to inflation of some sort and a shrinkage in the material. Anyway, every year it seems to take a little bigger size to keep me covered.
I’ve noticed again this past year that it’s not only my clothing that’s shrinking; my leather belts have gotten a pinch shorter, too! Mrs. Griz must have run them through the washing machine and dryer while I was sleeping. Though I hope I’m wrong on this one, I do suppose I can safely predict that I’ll probably have to buy some bigger clothes sizes in the new year. It’s been a consistent trend.
Another thing I’ve observed over the years, though I can’t quite figure it out and prove it, is the shortening of each new year. Now I know that each year is still made up 365 days worth of 24 hours each, but the days and years seem to go by so much quicker with the coming of eachnew one. Years seem like months, months like weeks, and weeks like days. On the basis of this trend, I predict that this new year may just pass a little quicker than the last.
What does all this mean? Well, I don’t remember. I expect, since I seem to get a little older and fatter with the passing of each new year, it’s probably a good thing that they go by fast so I don’t have to think about it quite as long!
Then, since the new year is almost here, I figured it was time to make out my New Year’s resolution.
What should I resolve to do in this new year? I have resolved a lot in the past; but my resolve either wasn’t strong enough, or it wasn’t attainable.
I still haven’t lost weight; my exercise program was too hard; and I know that I haven’t yet become a better person. So, what could I resolve this year without becoming a guilt ridden failure by the evening of January 1? I need a new year’s resolution that I can keep for a change!
After much thought and hopeless despair over the possibilities, I finally decided to resolve not to keep any of my New Year’s resolutions.
“This is one I can keep,” I figured.
After all, I have already broken all my past New Year’s resolutions. And, I won’t be able to keep this one either if I keep it. Figure that one out!
I do wish you a happy and blessed new year!
Opinion, Pages 5 on 12/30/2009
Print Headline: Griz Bear Comments I Predict Trends Will Continue in New Year